Not long ago, a brother and I expressed our bitterness:
A few days ago, a project in our company went wrong, and our department needed to work overtime collectively to rush out the plan.
I was so busy at work that I forgot to tell my wife in advance, but it was hard to catch my breath.
I found a dozen missed calls, and I quickly went back and explained the reason.
To prove my innocence, I also asked my colleagues to testify. I finally finished my work and it was almost 12 o'clock.
Since there were no buses or subways, I happened to have a few colleagues dropping by, so I took them back together, including two female colleagues.
1: Deep suspicion of strong women
As a result, when my wife used the car the next day, she discovered A few long hairs have stirred up a hornet's nest.
Unless I went out with my colleagues last night and didn’t work overtime at all, otherwise where would my hair come from?
I explained several times that I was sending my colleagues home, not just one person, but several colleagues along the way.
As a result, they refused to listen and the quarrel lasted for several days. Finally, a few of my colleagues explained the reason in person.
Two female colleagues also apologized, saying that they were careless and caused us trouble.
To be honest, I was embarrassed to hear it. After hearing their explanation, my wife stopped making trouble.
But she was even more strict with me. She was a senior executive in the company. When she came home, she took care of me like a grandson. Whenever something happened, she would get angry without thinking about it. She pressed me and insisted on an explanation, but she didn't believe me after I explained it. I really couldn't stand her anymore.
Two: The relationship between husband and wife has deteriorated
My marriage seems to have never stopped since I got married. The lively and cheerful girl was gone.
Now she is like a fully armed female warrior who is ready to fight with me at any time. What I want is a wife, not a boss or opponent.
Listening to this fan’s words reminded me of a friend of mine who is also a typical strong woman.
Before getting married, she did everything by herself. After getting married, she brought this strong style into her marriage and demanded that she be a perfect wife. But the harder she worked, she wanted to be a perfect wife. The better a wife is, the worse her relationship with her husband will be.
Three: The pain of the original family
Every time the other party made a mistake, she always made strong demands The other party corrected herself and did not allow her to deviate from what she expected. Later, she and her husband also had trouble.The point of divorce.
But because of her child, she decided to give herself a chance.
She went to talk to the other party almost with a decisive attitude, and she regarded the other party as an ordinary friend for the time being.
So instead of losing my temper like in the past, I talked about the difficulties at work from my childhood to adulthood.
She told the other party, "I kept asking you questions during the quarrel. In fact, I didn't want to hurt you, I just wanted to find out whether you love me or not."
But, I can't express the word love.
Because when I was young, I lived with my grandparents. They had their own grandson, and they were always lukewarm towards me, their granddaughter, and they said they would abandon me several times.
"So I can only try my best to be their pride and let them show off me, so that they will not abandon me. I am afraid that I will do something wrong. I am afraid that if I make a mistake, You will not want me anymore.”
Four: Tolerate her soft heart with warmth
The friend said. , it turned out that it felt so good to express her inner fears. Her husband also said that it was the first time that he knew that his strong and excellent wife was so fragile inside. It was also the first time that he understood that his past indifference and avoidance had no impact on her. How hurt she was.
In fact, many people have problems in their marriages because they are trapped in a negative cycle. The more they avoid, the more negative they become. The more they avoid, the worse their marriage becomes.
Those who are strong on the surface are actually very soft on the inside. His strength is just an armor to protect himself, but in the wrong relationship, he hurts himself and hurts others.
So sometimes, you might as well be the one who takes the initiative, use communication and hugs to warm his or her hurt heart, and let him slowly take off his armor. Love can make a strong person People become gentle and peaceful. Of course, this requires going through many obstacles, but it is really worth it
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